Fear and a lot of prayer.

I had an unusual experience over the last couple of days.  Though I’m not easily frightened, I experienced fear yesterday to the point that I needed to call my husband and have him help me.  All of this came from an unexpected source.  Here’s what happened: We have some friends in New York who were close to delivering their first baby.  Actually, this couple was the first couple my husband married and for that and many other reasons, they are very special to us.  So a couple of nights ago, I got the overwhelming sense that they were in labor and I began to pray for them.  Since I couldn’t get in touch with them (because they actually WERE in labor), I contacted some friends (thanks Tim!!) to confirm the fact.  Being their first, I knew to expect a long wait so I was patient.  

I, like everyone else who knows them, couldn’t wait to see who their baby looked like.  And because they had decided to wait to find out the sex of their baby until delivery made it all the more exciting.  By the way, it’s a girl and they named her Carolina Rae. 

At some point after the delivery we received an email informing us of some complications during the delivery but which didn’t elaborate much.  I couldn’t shake the sense that something serious was up so I just kept praying.  

When I finally found out the nature of the difficulties, I guess that’s when I started having fearful thoughts about them.  I was still praying for them but there was this creeping sensation that the worst might happen and our friend would lose his wife (or his mother who was also desperately sick at the same time).  I ended up calling my husband and confessing my fear to him.  He faithfully told me some truth I needed to hear and helped me entrust them to the Lord, encouraging me to pray not just for them but for my own lack of faith.  I’ve been doing that and it has helped me to be more grounded in truth.  

It’s confusing what things can so easily uproot your faith a bit.  I consider myself to be a woman of faith, not often struggling with trusting God through difficulty or change (though I have had a couple of major battles here).  And it seems funny that I’m focusing on myself when all the light should be cast on this couple, whom I love, who are actually going through this battle.  I know they must have had to wage war with their own faith in the past couple of days.  Knowing them, they have pleased the Lord with their hearts and attitudes.  

The mom is now stabilized and she and the baby came home yesterday evening.   And though she has some serious recovering to do, she and her husband know that there are many people who love them as we do who have also been praying for them.  

One of the sweetest things I’ve heard through this is that where they originally named their daughter Carolina Rae, they’ve since changed her name to Carolina Grace as a testimony of God’s faithfulness to them through this trial.  

To Carolina:  We can’t wait to meet you precious one and tell you how special your mom and dad are.  Enjoy your new parents. They are a wonderful, godly couple who have waited patiently for your arrival so they could be a family and see the miracle of how God uniquely made you.

For me, this is yet another lesson in how weak I am and how desperate I am for God’s care.  I’m grateful He continues to rescue me from the various sins that entangle me on a daily basis.

Congratulations Claudio & Lulu on the birth of your baby girl!  We couldn’t be more excited for you.