Hope in the midst of bad news

Wow.  The last couple of weeks have been an exhausting time in the Stewart household.  Several of us (including me) have been sick with a virus.  In the midst of this, we were given some bad news about extended family members.  It’s definitely been a time of deeper desperation for God.  

We found out about two weeks ago that my niece (my brother’s daughter who my parents raised) has breast cancer.  It was a shock that came out of left field.  Her original diagnosis that it was stage 3 didn’t bode well.  Thankfully she has since been downgraded to stage 2A, whatever that means, and it appears that it is only in one breast not both.  This is a 28 year old woman with 4 children.  Very sad news.  But God is faithfully using it to draw her to Himself in a way that I’m convinced couldn’t be accomplished in any other way.  

Add to that the news that came only days later that my brother (my niece’s father) has colon cancer.  We still don’t have conclusive results of the tests they performed from his surgery and subsequent biopsies but we are hopeful.  He is probably facing chemo and isn’t looking forward to that.  Only God can cause these kinds of things, with this timing (not a coincidence), and work them all together for His good.

The hardest part has been watching my parents deal with it all. This is the first time in their life that they haven’t been physically able to be with one of their children or grandchildren to support them in their time of need.  But God has something in it for them in the way of trusting Him more deeply.  Though they weren’t able to be physically present, their prayers and support by phone were vital.  It’s been rewarding seeing their faith so strong during this time.  But hard nonetheless.  

As for me, I’m trusting fully in God’s ability to use all this to draw us closer as a family and, more importantly, draw us closer to Him – the Giver of Life.  No matter what comes, I know He is faithful.  My brother is still a young man (48) so this diagnosis threw him.  My prayer for him is that his faith is built up through this process.  Up till now, though he’s faced many hardships, he’s never faced anything like this where he’s completely helpless.  This place of desperation, I’ve found, though difficult, is the very place God likes us to be.  In our weakness is when we find His complete strength.

I’m not in my brother’s shoes so I don’t pretend to know what he’s going through.  But the things God has brought me through have given me the confidence that if he will allow Him to be his all in all, he’ll experience a peace like no other.

As for my niece, this seems to be bringing her out of a cloud and back to a right foundation.  Her life has been pretty messed up these last few years.  My prayer for her is that she find God again and experience true faith in Him – the kind of bedrock faith that gives you strength in these times.

In all of this, I’ve been grateful for the perspective God’s given me.  Because of His faithfulness, I can fully trust in Him to do a good work here, not just in my loved ones but in my own heart as well.  His constant assurance that He is WITH us in this has been amazing.  I’m blessed to have strong faith.  I know it doesn’t come from me but has been GIVEN to me as a byproduct of seeing God’s faithfulness in my life over and over again.

A friend of ours, Dave Harvey, gave a message a few years ago about “looking back and looking up” to see God’s past and present faithfulness in our lives.  It is something I’ve dwelled on much recently and it’s kept me grateful for how well I’ve been taught. People can flounder in times like these but I feel, for the most part, rock solid.  I pray that somehow my brother and niece will experience some of this rock solid kind of faith as they walk through these life and death issues.  It’s not only comforting, it’s life-giving.

They both have a rough road ahead of them.  I covet your prayers that they will find grace and peace in the midst of it.

One more thing – we have a dear friend in Phoenix who will not be with us much longer.  He’s like a grandpa to us.  He’s the father of one of our best friends and we’ve spent many holidays enjoying stories about his very colorful life.  He’s in the last days of struggle with cancer.  We are sad to see him losing his battle with this disease but we know exactly where he is going and that we’ll see him again one day.  What a great hope we have!  We love you PawPaw and will miss you here but know you’ll keep it lively up there till we arrive.

I’m BAAAAACK!

Not that I should expect you to care.  I think my last post was November 21st.  Very sad.  I’m a hack…very NOT like my friend Laurie.  She might ignore her blog for a week or so and feel like she’s committed a mortal sin.  But she’s really got something to offer.  She is an exceptionally gifted writer and a godly woman whose blog serves countless ladies with a wonderfully rich diet of the gospel.  No one would miss my mundane posts.  At the same time, I feel convicted at having ignored it.  I guess if there is even a scrap of anything in my life that can serve someone, particularly where it pertains to God’s faithfulness, I simply must share.

So I’m back.  For better or worse.  Setting aside time out of my busy day to blog about…my busy day.  Boring? Yes.  But still a continual testimony of God’s mercy toward me.

My husband and I just returned from a marriage retreat entitled “Marriage and the Mercy of God”.  What an excellent time!  The messages (1 by Dave Harvey, 2 by Paul Tripp, and 1 by Aron Osborne) were all so encouraging and faith-building.  You can download them if you want by going to http://www.mercy4marriage.org.  Whether your marriages are rocky or sound, or anywhere in between, these messages will breathe fresh life and faith into them.  

This retreat was a wonderful reminder of the need to extend mercy to one another, just as God has extended infinite mercy toward us.  We each married sinners, right?  Having skillful pastors open up what mercy looks like in marriage was very timely for us.  Thankfully we have a good marriage.  But it’s not perfect.  We sin against each other every day and need God’s example of mercy toward us to deal with each other’s weaknesses.  Such rich teaching–what a blessing!

Besides the great teachings we received, we simply had a blast being there.  It was one of those conferences that will stick in our minds as having been done really well.  Not a detail was left unattended.  And thankfully there was more time in the schedule to actually apply the stuff being discussed in the messages.  Though the last marriage retreat there was wonderfully done, a big “oops” was that it was too brief and had a very full schedule.  It fell under the category of “too much of a good thing”.  But this one was just right (as though I’m somehow qualified to judge).  An added bonus was that we got to see our dear friends from Brooklyn who were also attending.  Other familiar faces blessed us as well. Fun times.

We had a bit of a drive to get there (from Akron, Ohio to Hershey, PA).  It should’ve taken 5-1/2 hours or so to get there and it took us 7.  The ride home was even longer.  Amazingly it took us about 8 or 9 hours to get home.  Of course that includes sitting down for a dinner meal (but we ate lunch on the way out so it should have been similar).  I won’t mention any names about who had to go to the bathroom every 1/2 hour or so but you know who you are 🙂  Many “road trip moments” occurred which will be fun memories for us and the couple we rode with (our Sr. Pastor & his wife).

So, to wrap this up (because I’ve rambled on a bit), I’ll summarize:  1) I’m committed to being faithful with my blog; 2) you should consider getting the messages from the marriage conference; and 3) don’t go on a road trip with anyone who has a weak bladder. 

One other fun thing you should do: look up “The Don’t Song” by Johnny & Chachi on YouTube.  They played it at the conference and we laughed and laughed.

It’s good to be back.  I pray God will shape my words and thoughts so that they are a reflection of His continual kindness and mercy to me.